A witty resident has written a 25-page satirical objection to huge housing development near his home - referring to the plans as "bovine excrement".
Developer Crest Nicholson has submitted plans for 380 homes, a 64-bed care home, community area, and primary school on land in Cheshunt in Hertfordshire.
But Christopher Powis, who lives near to the site, is very much against the proposed development , and went to extreme lengths to make his feelings known.
In fact, he used the same structure as a typical planning statement – complete with a contents page – to sarcastically raise his objections in a 25-page document, reports the Hertfordshire Mercury .
Part of the 25-page objection letter (Photo: Hertfordshire Mercury WS)
The 60-year-old opens the objection by describing notifications of the plans – which were delivered in a brown envelope – as something "brown and nasty on my doormat" but had "nothing to do with my neighbour's dog".He lists tongue-in-cheek positives to the plans, which include saying they will bring more food for "road-kill enthusiasts" and that Rags Valley would be "destroyed".He writes: "Instead of eating the usual barbecued bunny, the odd tabby cat scraped off the road and squirrel burgers, the new housing development promises a gourmet delight!
"As animals flee in terror from bulldozers, they will inevitably run into the road where they will be knocked down by oncoming traffic."
In section 3.0, titled Ministry of Silly Planning, he asks "will the borough of Broxbourne get the Stalin Memorial Award for Dictatorship Excellence?"Mr Powis, who is writing a book on the psychology of people, and has written similar lengthy objections to other planning applications in the past.
He does seriously object to the plans, which he believes are part of a growing disregard for the greenbelt, but said humour is the best way to put forward his arguments.
When approached by the Mercury, he said: "I find it is more effective to get information over using humour rather than being serious, people tend not to bother reading when it is serious.
"My father served in World War Two on the front line and he saw every day as a bonus in his life and he told me to create happiness and laughter."
He has never received any response from his various objections and he put this one together over a total of four weeks, written in his spare time, and includes 31 sources in the end notes.
"The way I look at it is I write so many but I only need one or two of them to be picked up and have an effect so it does not demotivate me," he said.
"I hope it gives people a laugh, but there is a serious point to it too."
Author: Jasmine Amber
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